You're cleverer than I am. You just show it differently. With Flint, it's like we're dancing but I can't hear the music, so I'm just trying to guess the steps by feel and sort out their pattern as I go without tripping and embarrassing myself.
[ Not a comfortable position to be in with a colleague, but here and now she eases just perceptibly under Darras's hand, sinking a little deeper into the sofa, stretching out a little longer. ]
The Ambassador cares about Ferelden. And protecting people who need it. Especially women he believes are being mistreated.
Edited (clarifying hopefully) Date: 2020-08-17 08:47 am (UTC)
Different sort of clever. And even when you trip, you manage to make it look graceful and planned. It's a spooky quality of yours.
[He otherwise cedes the point as he traces idly around her ankle--the half circumference, this time, and then back again, looping around the gentle slope of the bone.]
Mistreated women are a good cause to be caring about. Bit smaller of focus than Riftwatch has, generally, but can't fault him for it.
[ Yseult hums, neither agreeing nor dis-. ] I try. But I'd rather know what he's hearing.
[ It's not a massage but there's something soothing about the brush of his thumb, the slow circuitous path it winds around her ankle. She drapes an arm above her head and exhales like a sigh. ]
No, he's--decent, despite the character he plays. Maybe a bit too decent for the life he's chosen. And he cares about defeating Corypheus, but I think he cares what it costs. He's more an ally than either of the others, if I'm honest. I don't know why it's Flint I look to first.
[Back around the other way, and then up her calf a bit, tracing along the little valley between shinbone and muscle. Relaxed as she is, the muscle doesn't stand out the way it would if she flexed her foot, but it's still there, a lithe line.]
You use it all differently, to be sure. And I'd not marry him, I find you to be quite a bit more attractive'n him--he's got a great deal to recommend him, can't deny that, but he's no you. If it's two sides, Ambassador or Commander, you're Commander.
[ It does bunch beside his finger as she picks her head up, a new valley dug between brows instead. ]
Am I? I suppose of the two, but I'm not sure either's flattering. [ She sets her head back down again, a faint thunk as it meets the cushioned arm. ] Do we seem so alike?
Don't be looking at me like that. I said I wouldn't marry him.
[--And before she can reach down and swat at his hand, he skims his fingers back up her leg, close to the sinewed arch of the hamstring.]
You've more altruism to you, I'd say. Doing what's good and right 'cos it's good and right. You don't show your hand in a way similar to him. Someone could talk to you for two hours and unless they hit upon something specific, they'd not get you to crack, and they'd not learn anything about you that you didn't want them to. And even then, I'd guess you could keep it together. Keeping up with you can be like dancing as well. You know the song, you know the steps, and you know the band, and one look from you and they'll change it, and you'll have everyone on the wrong foot again.
Two different types of control, two different types of composure. Maybe it's not sides, one or the other. Maybe it's like branches, and you're on the same end of the branch, but one at the top and one at the bottom.
[He brackets her calf with his hand, thumb pressed to her shinbone, little finger circled around and pressed to the backside of the leg.]
Like so. And, I don't know--not a desperation, 'cos you're neither of you desperate. But a... drive, like. Held back but always there.
[ The pinch earned a squinted look that absolutely threatened a swat. But the rest Yseult considers in near-silence, just a thoughtful buzz of sound in the back of her throat and a stretch, up and back to the windowsill, that disguises a slide further into his arm's reach. When he's done she says ]
You know, you give me too much credit. Half of it's just an act to make people here listen to me and stop being quite so ridiculous when I'm around.
[ She's still mulling over his Flint comparison. Trying to find something in it to disagree with. ]
No. I'm good at my job. [ Matter of fact, nothing more or less. ] You make it sound like I'm perfect. Always a step ahead of everything and everyone. It doesn't feel that way.
Hang on--this first. I never actually named you as a fake. I said you might not know it all, but you can carry on as if you do, until you start to know it. That's you.
And why doesn't it follow? Just 'cos we're talented liars, and you're talented at spotting a liar, doesn't mean there's not a world full of them out there as well.
Right. And I'm saying, I'm sure he'd say the same of you, to whatever handsome man he's got rubbing his leg in his private quarters. If you're not underestimating him, stands to reason he'll not be underestimating you. Think that's kind of a stalemate. Or a cutthroat competition that's always going to keep stalling out.
[ Now she twitches her foot away, with a sigh and a press up on the arm of the couch to pull herself more upright again. ]
One, [ dry, sarcastic ] thank you for that image in my mind. Two, [ neither but a bit frustrated ] I don't need you to talk every concern I have into knots. Some of them are justified, and it isn't helpful to wish them away with this fantasy that I'm-- invincible.
[Darras lets her go, lifts his hand clear of her leg. His expression is very weren't we just having fun how are we suddenly on the border of not having fun anymore.]
I'm not saying you're invincible, or that you ought not to be concerned, I'm saying you're up to the challenge and it's not helpful to assume the worst of yourself.
[ She subsides, he'll see it in her shoulders and the drop of her chin, her hands in her lap: a little chastened by that clarification and the accompanying expression. ]
Alright. [ A gathering moment, as she does. ] It's not that I don't appreciate your faith in me. I do. But it's so much, based on so little.
He reaches out to drop his hands over hers. It's a bit of a stretch, given their seating arrangements; he does it anyways.]
Sorry, how long've I been married to you? Now, granted, we started out with a lot of secrets between us--but I've always had faith in you. And it's always been merited. I know you, remember? Who you are and what you can do, and what you've done, where you've come from. I'd say if anyone can have this sort of faith, it's me.
It is, [ is the easy part. If anyone can, it's him. ]
But all you see is the good. And everything here is such a mess in comparison. One day I'll make a real mistake where you can see it. [ So if he can't, no one will. ]
If you make a mistake, you'll clean it up. One way or another.
[Darras twists his hand so he can squeeze hers, reassuring.]
I hear what you're saying. I understand it. But you're selling yourself short too. Even if I'm seeing only the good, then you're only seeing the bad--and if we meet in the middle, that divides it all in half, at least to a wash. You're cleverer than you're letting yourself thing. And I don't blame you. It is all a mess. And it's not as if you can trust everyone around you.
Think we know each other a bit better than that now. But it's not a storybook, me having faith in you. That's real. That's because I know you, and who you are.
[ Yseult's hummed response is not convinced. That's what he thought last time, after all. But what more can she ask for, until the moment comes?
So she follows it with another squeeze of his hand, and when she pulls away it's just to rearrange, legs stretched toward the window and her head in his lap. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-08-17 05:48 am (UTC)[ Not a comfortable position to be in with a colleague, but here and now she eases just perceptibly under Darras's hand, sinking a little deeper into the sofa, stretching out a little longer. ]
The Ambassador cares about Ferelden. And protecting people who need it. Especially women he believes are being mistreated.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-17 11:53 pm (UTC)[He otherwise cedes the point as he traces idly around her ankle--the half circumference, this time, and then back again, looping around the gentle slope of the bone.]
Mistreated women are a good cause to be caring about. Bit smaller of focus than Riftwatch has, generally, but can't fault him for it.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 12:27 am (UTC)[ It's not a massage but there's something soothing about the brush of his thumb, the slow circuitous path it winds around her ankle. She drapes an arm above her head and exhales like a sigh. ]
No, he's--decent, despite the character he plays. Maybe a bit too decent for the life he's chosen. And he cares about defeating Corypheus, but I think he cares what it costs. He's more an ally than either of the others, if I'm honest. I don't know why it's Flint I look to first.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 07:33 pm (UTC)[Back around the other way, and then up her calf a bit, tracing along the little valley between shinbone and muscle. Relaxed as she is, the muscle doesn't stand out the way it would if she flexed her foot, but it's still there, a lithe line.]
You use it all differently, to be sure. And I'd not marry him, I find you to be quite a bit more attractive'n him--he's got a great deal to recommend him, can't deny that, but he's no you. If it's two sides, Ambassador or Commander, you're Commander.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 07:40 pm (UTC)Am I? I suppose of the two, but I'm not sure either's flattering. [ She sets her head back down again, a faint thunk as it meets the cushioned arm. ] Do we seem so alike?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 11:42 pm (UTC)Don't be looking at me like that. I said I wouldn't marry him.
[--And before she can reach down and swat at his hand, he skims his fingers back up her leg, close to the sinewed arch of the hamstring.]
You've more altruism to you, I'd say. Doing what's good and right 'cos it's good and right. You don't show your hand in a way similar to him. Someone could talk to you for two hours and unless they hit upon something specific, they'd not get you to crack, and they'd not learn anything about you that you didn't want them to. And even then, I'd guess you could keep it together. Keeping up with you can be like dancing as well. You know the song, you know the steps, and you know the band, and one look from you and they'll change it, and you'll have everyone on the wrong foot again.
Two different types of control, two different types of composure. Maybe it's not sides, one or the other. Maybe it's like branches, and you're on the same end of the branch, but one at the top and one at the bottom.
[He brackets her calf with his hand, thumb pressed to her shinbone, little finger circled around and pressed to the backside of the leg.]
Like so. And, I don't know--not a desperation, 'cos you're neither of you desperate. But a... drive, like. Held back but always there.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 02:26 am (UTC)You know, you give me too much credit. Half of it's just an act to make people here listen to me and stop being quite so ridiculous when I'm around.
[ She's still mulling over his Flint comparison. Trying to find something in it to disagree with. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 03:21 am (UTC)[He leaves his hand where it is, runs it along down her leg and back to her ankle again, like on a track.]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 03:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 05:40 pm (UTC)So if it doesn't feel that way to you, it's got to feel the same to him.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-20 01:25 am (UTC)[ She's thinking about it, though, ankle idly flexed and stretched in his grip. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-20 07:39 pm (UTC)Aren't we all just pretending? I am. Pretend with conviction, you're halfway there. Maybe more.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-20 07:46 pm (UTC)Flint is up to things I don't know about, or at least has aims he hasn't shared. His meddling with Nevarra proved that much. Be careful with him.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-20 11:09 pm (UTC)Hang on--this first. I never actually named you as a fake. I said you might not know it all, but you can carry on as if you do, until you start to know it. That's you.
And why doesn't it follow? Just 'cos we're talented liars, and you're talented at spotting a liar, doesn't mean there's not a world full of them out there as well.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-21 01:33 am (UTC)I'm clever enough I've survived this long, but there's still a good chance Flint can think rings around me. It would be foolish to assume otherwise.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-21 03:46 am (UTC)But you're all on the same side, aren't you.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-21 02:27 pm (UTC)One, [ dry, sarcastic ] thank you for that image in my mind. Two, [ neither but a bit frustrated ] I don't need you to talk every concern I have into knots. Some of them are justified, and it isn't helpful to wish them away with this fantasy that I'm-- invincible.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-21 10:48 pm (UTC)I'm not saying you're invincible, or that you ought not to be concerned, I'm saying you're up to the challenge and it's not helpful to assume the worst of yourself.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-21 11:21 pm (UTC)Alright. [ A gathering moment, as she does. ] It's not that I don't appreciate your faith in me. I do. But it's so much, based on so little.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-21 11:48 pm (UTC)He reaches out to drop his hands over hers. It's a bit of a stretch, given their seating arrangements; he does it anyways.]
Sorry, how long've I been married to you? Now, granted, we started out with a lot of secrets between us--but I've always had faith in you. And it's always been merited. I know you, remember? Who you are and what you can do, and what you've done, where you've come from. I'd say if anyone can have this sort of faith, it's me.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-22 04:31 am (UTC)But all you see is the good. And everything here is such a mess in comparison. One day I'll make a real mistake where you can see it. [ So if he can't, no one will. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-08-24 12:30 am (UTC)[Darras twists his hand so he can squeeze hers, reassuring.]
I hear what you're saying. I understand it. But you're selling yourself short too. Even if I'm seeing only the good, then you're only seeing the bad--and if we meet in the middle, that divides it all in half, at least to a wash. You're cleverer than you're letting yourself thing. And I don't blame you. It is all a mess. And it's not as if you can trust everyone around you.
But you can trust me. Yeah?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-24 05:35 am (UTC)That's why I don't want you making up a storybook version of me in your head again. I didn't live up to it before and I won't now.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-25 09:59 pm (UTC)Think we know each other a bit better than that now. But it's not a storybook, me having faith in you. That's real. That's because I know you, and who you are.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-26 01:23 am (UTC)So she follows it with another squeeze of his hand, and when she pulls away it's just to rearrange, legs stretched toward the window and her head in his lap. ]